{"id":1034,"date":"2010-06-04T12:24:20","date_gmt":"2010-06-04T19:24:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ittakesballstoknit.com\/?p=1034"},"modified":"2010-06-04T19:53:11","modified_gmt":"2010-06-05T02:53:11","slug":"friday-funnies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ittakesballstoknit.com\/?p=1034","title":{"rendered":"Friday Funnies .."},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s that time of the week again … and I have a few more jokes for you. And an update that’s pretty funny as well …<\/p>\n

A man and his wife were sitting in church, the man was sleeping and his wife was knitting. The priest asked “Who created the Earth and man?” The woman poked the man with her knitting needle and the man screamed, “GOD!” The Priest looked at him and said, “That’s right.” Then he asked “Who is God’s son?” Once more the woman poked her husband with the needle, he woke up and screamed, “Jesus Christ!” Again, the priest said, “Correct.” Finally, the priest asked, “What did Eve say to Adam when she didn’t want any more children?” The knitter poked her husband again, but this time he screamed “Poke me with that thing one more time and I’m going to rip it off!” The priest smiled and said, “That’s right.”<\/em><\/p>\n

Three women were in the waiting room of a gynecologist, and each of them was knitting a sweater for their baby-to-be. The first one stopped and took a pill. “What was that?” The others asked her. “Oh, it was Vitamin C – I want my baby to be healthy.” A few minutes later, another woman took a pill. “What was that?” the others asked. “Oh, it was iron – I want my baby to be big and strong.” They continued knitting. Finally the third woman took a pill. “What was that?” the others asked her. “It’s Thalidomide,” she said, “I just can’t get the arms right on this sweater!”<\/em><\/p>\n

I might have told this one before but I’m not sure and too lazy to look it up. If I have, I apologize, but maybe someone who hasn’t been on the blog yet hasn’t read it …<\/p>\n

A piece of yarn walks into a bar and orders a beer, but the bartender snarls, “We don’t serve your kind here!”. The yarn is forced to leave.<\/em><\/p>\n

While sitting on the curb feeling sorry for himself, the yarn is suddenly hit with a brilliant idea. Working quickly, he ties himself into a knot and unravels his ends. Taking a deep breath, the yarn marches back into the bar and orders a beer. <\/em> <\/em><\/p>\n

“Hey!” says the bartender. “Ain’t you that piece of yarn I just threw outta here?” <\/em> <\/em><\/p>\n

“Nope,” replies the yarn, “I’m a frayed knot.”<\/em><\/p>\n

Last one for today …<\/p>\n

Q.\u00a0 Why don’t sheep like going to bars?\u00a0 A. They don’t like being carded!<\/em><\/p>\n

\n

Okay, okay, I’ll try to do better next time. In other news, hopefully you saw my post 2 days ago on Yarn Bombing. Well, a friend of mine sent me a picture that I have to share. How cool is this?<\/p>\n

\n

\"\"

Sweet ride!<\/p><\/div>\n

Hugzzz \ud83d\ude0e<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s that time of the week again … and I have a few more jokes for you. And an update that’s pretty funny as well … A man and his wife were sitting in church, the man was sleeping and his wife was knitting. The priest asked “Who created the Earth and man?” The woman […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"pmpro_default_level":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-1034","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-uncategorized","7":"pmpro-has-access","8":"czr-hentry"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pNDS0-gG","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ittakesballstoknit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1034","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ittakesballstoknit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ittakesballstoknit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ittakesballstoknit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ittakesballstoknit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1034"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/ittakesballstoknit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1034\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1038,"href":"https:\/\/ittakesballstoknit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1034\/revisions\/1038"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ittakesballstoknit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1034"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ittakesballstoknit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1034"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ittakesballstoknit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1034"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}